(may contain adult situations)

One of the key aspects of any relationship is communication. Without it, obviously there is no relationship. One could attempt to fall in love with someone, or become friends with them through their facial expressions and the subtleties of their non-verbal communication, but one would want to hear their thoughts. So we begin using words. They have meaning, insomuch as the listener has the same lingo, lexicon and language as you. You begin forming thoughts based on what you know about other humans, social behavior and from past relationships and previously known persons habits. You have questions you ask that are safe and easy. "Where were you born?" and "What is your favorite food?"

You can begin to form a persons personality based on the meanings behind their answer choices. From here you get into the wonderful world of risk-taking in relationships.

You ask questions like "What are your thoughts on the War in Iraq?" and "Is abortion a woman's choice?". These are harder, but get more at the core of who the person is. You can have this conversation with anyone. Male or female.

There are conversations that people have that are only with the opposite sex with whom you want to pursue a serious, intimate relationship with. However, in my short term of experience within relationship building with the opposite sex, there is one conversation that one needs approach with delicacy, tact and maturity: Sex.

Unless both parties have an understanding based on trust and time experienced, you are often treading into uncomfortable, risky conversation. And again, in my experience, I am often one that asks these things. And I tend to do something that makes me feel so incredibly vulnerable and silly afterwards.

I make assumptions.

Assumption is a tricky thing. It says, "I know what you are thinking because you are thinking the same thing I am". It's selfish right?

Absolutely.

Sometimes it can benefit you. A friend says to you that they are thinking about moving to another town. So you tell them, do you need a roommate or help moving out to where you are going? You are preempting them, so as to save the other from saying it themselves. Thinking in the same vein as the other. Saves time.

Thrifty, you might say.

But then there are those times when you are so incredibly off, that it effects a relationship in an unforeseen way. You make a guess-timation, if you will, about something very private and personal. You guess wrong, and you have shattered certain expectations and norms of normal, sane people's conversation.

You go into the realm of the weird, boundless world of uncomfortability. You somehow have to maneuver a rift that has been created. It may be simple in theory. But in its application you are left with a gaping hole of awkwardness and a slew of explanations.

There is a simple cure I think, but is not as easy to employ as I thought. Being of the male persuasion, I tend to think 1) very visually and 2)literally and 3)every six seconds. I need not go into detail as to what is going on in my head, use your imagination.

But it gets me in trouble. So many times. I think I'm going to take up chastity. Maybe the Catholic church has some openings.