An ordinary Monday

I promise you there will be no tricks in the writing of this blog. No sleight-of-hand. No misleading subject headings.

This really is an ordinary Monday. A boringly unrepentant Monday.

It has been my observation of others that peaks and valleys are an everyday part of life. There are good, and there are bad seasons. They can last for months. They can last for years.

Mine, for some odd reason, seem to come weekly and seem to be highly contingent on my circumstances. As a Christian, I have heard the axiom, "God is in control".

I must be ignorant of God. I had a speaker during my DTS that said they had always seen themselves as "spiritually retarded". No matter how hard they 'listen' and try to identify the 'still, small voice', they are without epiphany.

I feel spiritually retarded. Perhaps I'm being impatient. Perhaps my circumstances dictate a swift answer and I am unwilling to listen because I have already made up my mind.

I struggle massively with the line between God's voice and my own. Between making the choice myself, or following God's choice. It's been said that God has given us intellect, reason, and free will and choice. But where do we end and God begin? Is there a point where this is indistinguishable? Should it be?

Anyways, I could use some prayer friends. I have to start making some decisions about my immediate future. I have already decided to stay here in Montrose for another year. I need a job that will facilitate my current health situation (bad back, minimal sitting, minimal lifting....I know, a lot to ask huh?)

Adios amigos.

Where's my complementary foresight?

I'm struggling to articulate exactly what it is that I want to say right now. This is by no means rare, but it is still aggravating when it happens.

I have a little less than a week until I head home to Montrose. I need a job, a car and direction in life. When I ended my DTS, the leaders failed to mention how much it sucks when you finish, that completion of it doesn't mean you are automatically granted omniscience.

However uncomfortable this makes me feel, I want to know that what I'm doing is what I'm supposed to be doing. I have the entire summer to figure out the fall, but what about now?

So. If anyone has a car they are looking at selling, a job opportunity and the ability to see into the future and live in the Western Slope area of Colorado, give me a call.

-nate-